Wednesday, September 01, 2004
am taking am much-needed break in the comp lab. I just had 5 hours straight of lessons - 2 consecutive lectures and a very tough tutorial.
half-dead. i am often very conscious of feeling that i am not really where i am. But how can i be aware that i am not very conscious? Like another me calling myself to wake up...wake up...wake up. Sometimes i even have to mentally remind myself that i am actually living and breathing. It's a very pure form of wasting time, exactly like sand slowly melting away in thin air. Surreal. It's wierd.
Waiting for an elang talk at 4pm. An elang and lit graduate who is having a very colourful career in jounalism will be sharing her experience. I guess i need this talk a lot. Because i am always stumped when someone immediately attaches the label "teacher" when i tell them my major. need to find out what are the p-r-o-s-p-e-c-t-s of my major. Gosh i hate this word. Why can't we do something we like without thinking whether we can survive on it? Which makes me think of the ever-shrinking philosophy department. Poor thing (not that i see much significance in the subject other than their proclaimation of teaching "critical thinking"). i think it will close down soon.
I get quite irked when people ask "you want to be teacher ah?" or worse still, they say "orh~ teacher ah". i never want to be an educator. i do not even take up tuition assignements. Probably suffering from some kind of inferiority complex -- not knowing enough stuff yet teaching others. it's stressful and tiring and can be such a blood-puking job. Not that i have been a student who has such effects on my teachers. Was a totally forgettable student and still is.
all this talk about education reminds that today is teacher's day. Though i hope i never need to have to celebrate it as a teacher, thanks to all who taught me. and who played a part in paving my way to where i am.
the little oven posted at 3:13 PM
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