3 large-scale projects are calling so bad. yet no one wishes to embark on them. Am tired of calling and messaging everyone. yet it is so hard to sit back and wait for someone to contact the rest and do something. anything. even just by asking 'the project how ah' is better than keeping your silence.
I cannot stand waiting for things to happen, yet i feel so so so unwillingly to initiate. again and again. but someone has to do the shitwork, as usual. just that i wish it is not me this time. and this is the same wish that will probably never be realised.
but yet i feel bad to think that others are slacking when they might be working on the project or doing some research first. i got to think up excuses for everyone to assure myself that things are on the way. but using the word ' excuses' is not right on my part in the first palce. it has such bad connotations. i am sorry if i am thinking this way about you guys. i guess i have to understand that everyone has different priorities and workloads.
SIGH. the agony of project work. shouldn't it be fun, full of constructive discussion? rather a madrush against time when the deadline is the next morning?
Another big commitment - an upcoming geyao concert. Will be singing and also playing keyboard for 3 or more songs. Gosh, my first time playing accompaniment. Too used to be one holding the mic. i am quite clueless about this accompaniment thing...haha. It seems like such a great responsibility - you start and end the song, cue the singer in, and try your best not to screw up in the middle. and also everywhere else. i think it is quite sad that learning the piano for more than half of my existence to date has not moulded me to be a person totally comfortable with the instrument. But i really love playing - for myself that is. Just not used to the idea that the 5 minutes of fame of some performers half-relies on the accompaniment. okay, maybe i am giving myself too much pressure. ahh...i got to be ready by thursday, the next rehearsal.
Right. 3 days to get my act together.
Bleah. listening to the songs over and again. Now i know how much i take the background music for granted. All i take notice is the melody and singer's voice. Now i need to prick my ears and catch those elusive harmonising and inconspicuous notes. they said it need not be an exact carbon copy of the original. but i am sure it cannot deviate too much.
but you guys got to make do with me!!! there is such a serious lack of instrumentalists in the cca. Everybody just wants to SING. and SING. and SING. Heck about the music. I wanted to just join in and SING like everone else. but it's terrible that there is only just 1 keyboardist and 1 guitarist for the sound system of the entire concert. Too much work.
So i said i would try. i actually wrote about knowing piano during the first personal data collection (man, this sound so technical eeks) but was wishing they did not check. 'Oops'. But it is a responsibilty as a member to help out when things are not going too well. Sounds so moralistic..but it really is important to do your part. Anyway, it's quite sad that a music cca needs outsiders to help out with the instrumentation!
Am not regretting my decision yet but maybe i will when the singers throw me wierd looks.
