Tuesday, October 26, 2004
i told myself over and over again: be thankful for the happier happiness.
and overlook the sadder sadness.
till the point where i will not even know its existence.
i know that happiness is a choice.
but it's scary that i am so much more willing to dwell in feelings of disappointment and hurt.
all the time.
but you do not owe me anything.
just that i am selfish, loving myself above everything.
above you.
i hate myself for depending on you.
just for another speck of happier happiness.
but i know.
you WILL fall beneath all that i thought you are.
dealing with expectations can never be easy.
i wish i had none.
i want to be able to appreciate you.
i am hanging on dearly to the glimpses of happier happiness.
before it all ends.
again.
the little oven posted at 2:37 AM
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