Tuesday, November 30, 2004
you feel distant.
like the stars
we promise to build our dreams upon.
so far beyond reach.
no matter how hard i try to
convince myself
that all that we shared
was real.
sometimes.
it can be so tiring to hold on.
yet a part of me
tries so hard to believe
that you are inaccessible
for the right reason.
and that you must have meant well.
there has always been a silent fear
that this was made all too easy for you.
and we will never be cherished as much
as a bitter victory of glory, blood and tears.
sometimes i wish i was more human.
be more true to myself.
to you.
let the monster take over
and expose
the stark ugliness of me.
it is never easy to say the right words.
or do the right things
all the time.
but despite the struggles within.
i try. at every chance.
and almost perfected
this art of restraint
till it seems so effortless
and worthless.
i remember the rainbow that day.
and how it was a creation
of the rain and sunshine
not meant to exist together.
it came and left in a glimpse.
but it was beautiful while it lasted.
perhaps.
just like us.
the little oven posted at 11:50 PM
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